Leaving was the biggest act of love I could have ever possibly given us
Towards the end,
Our love wilted as quickly as the roses you bought for me on Valentines Day.
I wished him every happiness,
but I was heartbroken that it wouldn’t be with me.
I used to have this fear that I would hear you utter someone elses name in your sleep.
The possibility that you might love another; the graveyards of old girlfriends haunting your dreams.
You always wake me in the night with your ramblings.
Last night I awoke to you stroking my cheek. You said “I love you, Sam,”
I said “I love you too, baby,”
Then you rolled over and went back to sleep.
That’s how I know it’s real.
An automatic phrase at the tip of your tongue,
Nothing to hide or conceal.
No thought behind it, no rehearsed words,
Something that escapes you even in sleep.
You may be asleep, but your love is always awake.
I’ve come to realise that love is a state of being,
Your words reminded me.
They are the best words to wake up to,
Even if you have no recollection of it,
I will dream of those words for the rest of my life.
my hands are red hot.
but you still shiver under their touch.
You left a bitter taste in my mouth,
like prozac on my tongue.
I have had boys who devoured me,
ravaged me – wouldn’t even look at me.
I expected you to be the worst,
the most animal among them,
with your ice cold hands
and your ice cold heart.
What used to make me cry
was the memory that you might not be a monster after all,
when I remembered the feeling of your lips pressed softly to my collar bone.
And the gentle strokes of your fingertips on my hips,
How our hands would collide in the middle of the night,
I would fantasise;
You were just the beast in a fairytale
waiting to open your ice cold heart to my warm hands.
I would watch the icicles thaw,
watch you shed your thorns.
Slowly, you would fall in love with me
and give me the happy ending that I was searching for.