shiver.

my hands are red hot.

but you still shiver under their touch.

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Beauty and The Beast

I have had boys who devoured me,

ravaged me – wouldn’t even look at me.

I expected you to be the worst,

the most animal among them,

with your ice cold hands

and your ice cold heart.

What used to make me cry

was the memory that you might not be a monster after all,

when I remembered the feeling of your lips pressed softly to my collar bone.

And the gentle strokes of your fingertips on my hips,

How our hands would collide in the middle of the night,

I would fantasise;

You were just the beast in a fairytale

waiting to open your ice cold heart to my warm hands.

I would watch the icicles thaw,

watch you shed your thorns.

Slowly, you would fall in love with me

and give me the happy ending that I was searching for.

Bad Habits

I smoked my first cigarette at thirteen,

I imagine my lungs are black with tar.

 

But by far, the most destructive thing I did,

Was to fall in love with you.

That was wildfire, burning everything I came into contact with,

Turning me into a pile of smouldering ash.

Flames that licked me up and down,

Infesting my thoughts like a million fire ants,

Suddenly, everything was you.


I am better now than I was before, I smoke less than I did,

Now, love is no longer fire to me.

It is water.

It is floating on my back riding a calm ocean wave, hearing the tide lap gently against the shore.

I’m unsure whether I crave the intensity that you brought,

When I’d leave you, shaking and anxious for more.

I love the calmness I have now,

But there is no escaping,

I have always had a taste for

Destruction.

And you were always a bad habit,

I could not shake.